i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
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