Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
