a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
