yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Fuck appropriateness.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
