why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
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