look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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