it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize