Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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