i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
