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i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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