Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
