I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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