I just pynch a tree in the face
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I want to fling myself into the sun
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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