her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
