you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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