He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
