He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize