I am in a vortex of obligation.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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