Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
