is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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