I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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