woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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