Are we in a gay sports bar?
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
