Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
