Where did you get a picture of my penis
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
