i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
