I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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