how hairy? two words: wookie tits
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
