Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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