I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
