Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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