i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
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this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
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My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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