wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
