porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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