okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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