They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
