Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
