Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
