ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
