Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
