Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
