Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
you would pick up someone in the library
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
