i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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