i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
