Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
