Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
