In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
