im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
