Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
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