i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
