No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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