k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
it was like eating out sand paper
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
