It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
