After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
