the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
