is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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