hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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