In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle