she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings