margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not