he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married